Inclusion through exclusion

It was music to my ears. It also got me thinking about inclusion.
We’re all familiar with the case for inclusion. We know that different perspectives make for better conversations, better decisions and better ideas. We talk about creating cultures where people feel able to speak up, challenge constructively and bring something different to the table, but what does that actually look like in practice?

My first career was in the Army. Looking back, there was something wonderfully straightforward about knowing exactly how things worked. We had a common language (much of which consisted of acronyms), shared expectations and a very clear understanding of what was required of us. I knew the rules of the game, and they suited me.

Then I became a civilian.

I joined a large corporate organization and discovered that they too had their own language, their own shorthand, their own ways of behaving and their own unwritten rules about how things got done. They even had their own form of uniform (power dressing). The difference was that I didn’t know any of this. I had assumed things would be broadly similar to the military and that I would just confidently ‘fit in.’

Quite the opposite. Whilst no one was deliberately excluding me, people were friendly and helpful, I felt ill-equipped to do my job – I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

It makes me wonder how many of the things we think create belonging can, for somebody else, have exactly the opposite effect. The acronyms. The friendly banter between people who have known one another for years. The informal conversations where the real decisions get made outside the meeting. The assumption that everyone knows who to ask, where to find something or simply how things get done around here.

None of these things is inherently bad. Often, they are signs of a strong culture and good relationships, but culture is, as we know, largely invisible, difficult to describe and even harder to change (especially when you think it’s working quite well for you).

Creating an inclusive culture isn’t simply about inviting people in; it’s about equipping people to add value once they are there.

One of my old Army buddies delivers a brilliant talk on leadership and ends with a challenge: lead, follow or get out of the way.

Now, getting out of the way sounds simple … it really isn’t.

It takes courage to let someone else make the decisions, trust to allow them to deliver in their own way and self-awareness to recognise that somebody else might do something better than you. However, people will only step forward and take advantage of the opportunity if they feel supported and capable of doing the job well.

If we genuinely want people to contribute, challenge, solve problems, innovate and use their initiative, they need more than a delegated ‘juicy’ task, an invitation to contribute ideas or a reassuring ‘my door is always open if you need anything’.

They need enough context to understand what is required and why. They need access to the information, expertise and resources that will help them, and the support and confidence to use their best judgement to work out the how. If we deny people these things and they fail, how well did we really set them up for success?

For me, this gets to the purpose of inclusion: creating an environment where everyone can add value and succeed.

My second civilian job after leaving the Army brought that home to me. I was asked to manage a team of highly qualified SME Researchers. I felt completely out of my depth: outsmarted and outnumbered by people who preferred to work alone, think deeply and share their thoughts in writing. They didn’t welcome my spontaneous brainstorming sessions or appreciate being put on the spot for an instant opinion. In other words, they weren’t much like me.

My job wasn’t to change them or the way they worked, nor was it to expect everyone else in the organization to adapt to them. What they needed from me was to facilitate the relationship between them and the needs of the business. We therefore made a deal: I will make sure you get the information and space you need to develop products in the way that works best for you, as long as you deliver them to others in a way that allows those people to explore, question and check their understanding in the way that works for them. My role was to create the conditions, connections and understanding that allowed different people to contribute at their best …and I loved it.

I didn’t think of it as inclusion at the time, but now I know: sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow, and sometimes you just get out of the way.